yesterday was a big day for me.
i decided to try out this new thing.
its called forgiveness.
and its hard.
yesterday,
as i was sitting at my computer, working,
my world just came to a stand still.
the word 'forgiveness' started flashing in my mind.
literally, the word 'forgiveness' was illuminated right where all the thinking happens- the part of your head between your temples, yknow?
'forgiveness' was illuminated, in neon! (not really).
and it was blocking out all of my other thoughts.
i tried to finish my assignment, but i simply could not do anything else until i had made amends.
nothing in particular had happened to bring this about,
i just knew that the time had come to stop being angry
and to finally move on with my life.
and so i talked with all the people i had been mad at.
and it was scary.
and draining.
but in a good way!
and now today,
i feel as light as air.
because as i emailed, phoned, and prayed, my bitterness and anger seemed to ooze out of my fingertips, little by little.
finally im drained of all that weight.
and i plan on staying drained out.
it feels good!
and now im invincible, too.
i dont know why i allowed myself to put this off for so long.
i think it has something to do with the fact that i was afraid to face up to the people that intimidate me the most.
but i faced my personal epitome of intimidatingness and nothing else really scares me anymore.
I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD!
muahahaha!
just kidding.
but i do feel like i earned my twenty years.
being twenty hadnt felt any different until that happened.
(maybe thats how we should really commemorate birthdays? by improving yourself a little, or making resolutions or something. isnt life about improvement and progression? so, shouldnt we improve and progress a little with each year of life? i like that idea).
